My patient took off her glasses and said, "I can't keep looking through these rose-colored glasses. I just can't."
I was holding her hand and both of us had tears in our eyes. Her body was sick and she knew it. I felt sad because there wasn't any other treatment to offer.
Then, all of a sudden, she looked at me and smirked. "You know what? I just noticed that these ol' glasses of mine really are rose-colored!" She threw her head back and laughed so hard that I did, too.
After that, we just sat in silence. Holding hands, looking out the window, and wishing on invisible stars.
I am quite old and I have heard many songs and I have always loved lyrics and I have heard the "rose" many times. BUT this is the first time I ever "listened" to the words!!! It made my chest heave... Thanks Dr. KD
Honestly? I write this blog to share the human aspects of medicine + teaching + work/life balance with others and myself -- and to honor the public hospital and her patients--but never at the expense of patient privacy or dignity.
Thanks for stopping by! :)
"One writes out of one thing only--one's own experience. Everything depends of how relentlessly one forces from this experience the last drop, sweet or bitter, it can possibly give."
~ James Baldwin (1924 - 1987)
"Do it for the story." ~ Antoinette Nguyen, MD, MPH
Details, names, time frames, etc. are always changed to protect anonymity. This may or may not be an amalgamation of true,quasi-true, or completely fictional events. But the lessons? They are always real and never, ever fictional. Got that?
Sometimes the only option is acceptance. And few things could be harder.
ReplyDeleteI am quite old and I have heard many songs and I have always loved lyrics and I have heard the "rose" many times. BUT this is the first time I ever "listened" to the words!!! It made my chest heave...
ReplyDeleteThanks Dr. KD
This such a BEAUTIFUL post even if it is so heartbreaking. So grateful as a human being that you took the time to be THERE for her! LN
ReplyDelete