Instead of Kool-Aid.

Here are a few pieces from a few of the conversations I had at Grady today:


Me:  "You're looking good."

Her:  "That's because I lost two hundred pounds."

Me:  "Huh?"

Her:  "Divorce, baby." (starts "raising the roof" with her hands)

Dang.

**

Him:  "I brought my food diary like you said. I'm not doing so bad."  (Hands me food diary.)

I study the diary in silence. I'm not even sure where to start.

Me:  "Uhhh, okay. So instead of this Kool-Aid, how about water instead?"

Him: "No Kool-Aid? Awww man. I love Kool-Aid."

Me:  "But sir? Kool-Aid doesn't love you. Kool-Aid don't love nobody."

*shared laughter*
 

**

Grady elder:  "Hey there, Miss Manning!"

Me:  "Hey there! It's good to see you, sir!"

Grady elder: "And you know what, sugar? It's good to be seen--and not viewed."

*shared laughter*

**

Grady elder:  "Whatcho name is again?"

Me:  "Dr. Manning."

Grady elder:  "That's right. How you been doing, Miss Manning?"

**

Me:  "I don't think we've met."

Grady elder:  "Yeah we have."

Me:  "Really? I'm sorry. Usually I remember people."

Grady elder:  "It's okay. I'm wearing my young wig today so it probably threw you off."

Not to be confused with her old wig.

**

Me:  "Hi! Long time no see!"

Grady elder:  "Woooo. That dress make you look stout about the waist."

Me:  "You think?"

Grady elder:  "Mmmm hmmm. You 'specting or something?"

Me:  "No ma'am."

Grady elder:  "Okay. You probably just got that winter weight on ya."

Damn.

**

Him:  "How was your weekend, Doctor?"

Me:  "It was good. I ran a 15K race. Which is like 9 miles and some change."

Him: "You did what?"

Me:  "Ran a race this weekend."

Him:  "Nine miles?"

Me:  "And some change."

Him: "Why in the hell would somebody run 9 miles if they ain't being chased? Sheeee-yit. No way."

*shakes his head extra hard*

**

Me:  "Hey there, sir."

Him:  (fanning his hands hard) "Uh oh. Hey there, Miss Manning."

Me:  "You alright?"

Him:  "Yeah. I jest let one go 'fore you came in. One a them silent-but-deadly types."

Me:  "Beg pardon? Uuuhhh. . . .*cough* never mind."

Him: "Tried to warn you that it was the silent-but-deadly type. But y'all the ones said 'eat more fiber.'"

Right.

***

Me: "Did you see the Grammys last night?"

Grady elder:  "The who?"

Me:  "The. . .uhhh. . .nevermind."

Grady elder:  "Oh! Yeah. . . I seen the part with Bee-yon-say. After that I fell on asleep."

*shrug*

Pretty much, me too.

***

Him:  "So instead of Kool-Aid drink what now?"

Me:  "Water."

Him: "Water?"

Me: "Water."

Him:  "Have you had water? It don't taste like nothing."

Me: "Yeah. I guess it kind of doesn't, does it?"

*shared laughter*

Love. This. Place.

***
Happy Monday-pretty much-Tuesday.

Now playing on my mental iPod. . . My patient's ringtone on her phone today. She was a Grady elder which made this even more awesome. (She was happy, by the way.)