Music Lyric Monday: Thank You

Thank You

How 'bout getting off these antibiotics?
How 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up?
How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots?
How 'bout that ever elusive kudo?

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you, thank you silence

How 'bout me not blaming you for everything?
How 'bout me enjoying the moment for once?
How 'bout how good it feels to finally forgive you?
How 'bout grieving it all one at a time?

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it 
was the moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it
Was the moment I touched down


How 'bout no longer being masochistic?
How 'bout remembering your divinity?
How 'bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out?
How 'bout not equating death with stopping?

Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence

~ Alanis Morissette "Thank U"

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I love this song. I just love it. 

Something about it makes me think of maturing and the clarity that comes with trials, tribulations, pivotal moments and silence. Hearing this song and reading these words reminds me of what writing has given me. So much of all these things. Perhaps it--and Grady--has been my "India." 

So much of this resonates with me. Like I remember being extremely worried about doing things exactly as people thought I should--especially in my professional life. Following the most traveled path and crossing the expected t's and dotting the predictable i's. But then. . . one day. . . I jumped off of it. I started doing things that felt right with my soul and that fit my talents. Some of which has been unconventional. But do you know what has happened? Things have gone even better. I feel good in my own skin doing the things that I should be doing. 

Yes. The moment I jumped off of it was the moment that I touched down. So these things like writing a quirky blog and teaching in my own way feels organic and right. And doing them not for the ever-elusive kudo or transparent dangling carrot but for me has been . . . just. . . .yeah. 

Enlightening. Refreshing. Right.

And you. Those who read the things I write. You have kindly held my hand through disillusionment, nothingness and also clarity. We have done that for each other, too. Then we sit and think about it all in silence.

Thank you for that.

See? This is why I have this mental iPod. It has been a soundtrack to my life. The memory is unlimited and I never have to worry about anyone asking me to turn it down. Ever.

So this is the song playing on my mental iPod on this Monday. I'm also posting the video which is so weirdly artistic and unusually moving to me. Some may just find it only weird and unusual, but that's okay. Ha ha ha. Can I admit that it kind of makes me tear up? Perhaps it's because of the words. But mostly it's because of the parts where the strangers periodically stop, walk up to her, touch her and see her. How she looks and connects with them makes me think of Grady and my patients there. The students and the people I have come in contact and how good it feels when someone does something that says "I see you."

And at the end of the day, that's one of the things I care about the most. Seeing people. For real.

My friends.
My family.
My patients.
Strangers.
Everyone.

So this song reminds me that life and growth does that for you. And you just have to love a song that thanks life and the journey.

Yeah.

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Happy Monday, y'all.

Enjoy.