Own your space.

And understand I got the gift of speech

And it’s a blessin,

So listen to the lesson I preach

I talk sense condensed into the form of a poem

Full of knowledge from my toes to the top of my dome

I’m kinda young--but my tongue speaks maturity

I’m not a child, I don’t need nothin for security

I get paid when my record is played--to put it short

I got it made

_________________________________________

I always liked the bravado of that song but I can't say that I always feel that way myself. There are days that I feel lackluster. Like my best isn't good enough or rather my best is in there somewhere but I haven't pulled it all the way out. A spiral of self-doubt sets in. I double-think my moves. Some insecurity sets in. The little voice goes to town and pounces all over me until I'm flailing on the ground.

Yes. This happens to me. More often than one might imagine.

But I have this mantra that I say in my head when I start feeling that way. I pair it with my "already enough" cheering section and then I put my dukes up and start that metaphorical shadow boxing. As I feel my pulse quickening and my face feeling warm from angst or second-guessing that's when I start shouting in my own ear.

OWN YOUR SPACE.

Own your space. What does that mean? Well, I can tell you what it means to me. It means that I'm the only me that exists. It means that I have something unique to bring and am the only one who can bring it in this "me" kind of way. In other words, the space that I have been given to do me is mine. And I need to own it.

So I prepare. I self reflect and reassess and try to do my best. The old school rappers called this "show'n'prove." Sometimes you just have to show'n'prove to yourself that you got this. That you're enough. That starts with owning your space.

I was teaching in the clinic the other day. It was just one of those days where you feel like you're flying on one wing, you know? And that little voice started telling me that my teaching points weren't good ones and that I wasn't as great as I people thought. That's when I literally stepped out of the room and faced a window with my eyes closed.

You are enough.
This is your space. Own it. You are a great teacher. You are an awesome communicator. You're good with people. You have experience. You're the only you they can work with. So own that. Own it.
Own your space.

That took me approximately twenty seconds. But when I returned I had a different vigor. I felt good. I felt able. I was reminded of who I am.

I am not perfect. But I am an excellent work in progress of the only me that exists.

I also told these words to two different medical students this week. Simple advice that I give myself:

"Own your space."

So today I am walking in authority. Knowing that I am enough and that this space I've been given to live in -- this little circumference around me -- is my space. And, dammit,  I will own it.

The enemy is often ourselves. Even if others around are poisonous, we first have to drop our guards enough to let them in.  No one will taint your space without your access. That means we can't blame others when those doubts creep in and what it really means is that it's all on us to fight.

Fight! Rage against our own machines.

Does it mean perfection? No. Mistakes will be made. Revisions will be necessary. And that's fine and good and as it should be. You wake up to a new day. You shadow box. You show'n'prove.

Yeah.

What am I even talking about? I don't know.

You know? Something just tells me that this is a word someone needs today. Any time I wake up with something like this on my mind I've come to learn that someone else under the same sky is feeling the same way.

So today I will tell you the words I constantly tell myself:

You are enough.
You are the only you there is.
Walk in that authority.
Own your space.

Only you can decide what that means and how you'll use it to show'n'prove. And once you do, you'll have  it made.


That's all I got this morning.

***
Happy Saturday.

Now playing on my mental iPod. . . .this old school hip hop cut always hypes me up.