100% Organic.

In the giftshop at Grady the other day:

Lady:  "Hey there, doc!"

Me: "Hey there!"

Lady:  "You doin' alright?"

Me:  "Couldn't be better. You?"

Lady:  "You look tired. Are you tired, doc?"

Me:  "I have two young boys. That'll make you tired alright!"

Lady: "Naw. I mean you look for real tired. Like you could see it all up in here." (Waves her hand in front of her face and neck.)

Me:  Ouch. "Uhhh, okay."

Polite smile next to the PowerBars. Then try to scoot away from her to the refrigerated beverages. She follows. Uggh.

Lady:  "Do you use moisturizer?"

Me: "Huh? I mean, pardon?"

Lady: "On your face. At night. You should you know. Something nice and thick. And something for your pores."

Me:  "Uh, okay."

Lady:  "Are those freckles? Freckles really just mean sun damage. You got a lot of freckles."

Me:  "I kind of like my freckles."

Lady: "But they sun damage. Did you know that?"

Me:  0_0

Lady: "They just little tiny age spots. Mmmm hmm."

Me:  Seriously? Seriously. "What do you use for your skin?"  (Which wasn't all that gorgeous if you ask me.)

Lady:  "I like Esoterica. And I swear by regular petroleum jelly to get my make up off."

Me: "Seems like that would clog your pores. No?"

Lady:  "Naw. It keep you moisturized real good."

Me:  "Uuuhhh, okay."

Lady:  "You know what keep your pores from looking all big?"

Me:  "No. Tell me."

Lady:  (looks side to side) "Quiet as it's kept. . . .pee from when you first get up."

Me:  "Did you say pee?"

*Note: This is the point where I mentally hit the "record" button because this exchange was now officially blog-worthy.*

Lady:  "Pee. I ain't lyin'. But it's got to be first thing when you get up. Jest pass a cotton ball under the stream, you know, and then just--"

Me:  "Wait pee? As in. . . urine?"

Lady:  (not even fazed) "Mmmm hmmm. Then you just put the cotton ball to your face and let it set on there while you do what you need to do. So it get all in your pores good. Then wash it off as the last thing you do."

Me:  *just threw up in my mouth a little bit*

Lady:  "That way, you know what I'm sayin', you won't be looking so tired."

Me:  "You're saying that if I use pee as my astringent I won't look tired?"

Lady:  "Yeah. But it's got to be first thang."

Not Kidding on what happened next:

Another lady:  "Oh yeah, it work, too."

Me: "What works?"

Other lady:  "What she was saying. Using the urine for your skin. My grandmama swore by it."

Me:  0_0

Other lady:  "It's best if it's when you first wake up."

Lady:  "See? Told you."

Other lady:  "That or if it's from a little baby."

Lady:  "Oh yeah. A baby. That's right."

A baby? What the. . . 

Me:  "Am I tripping or is it kind of gross to put urine on your face?"

Both ladies: *just look at each other and don't say anything*

Other lady:  "It ain't gross if you want your skin to look nice."

Lady:  "And if you don't want to look tired."

Touche.


Hand over heart. True story. I ain't lying.

The bright side of the story:  At least they didn't start discussing mud facials. . . .

>_<

 Errrrr . . . yeah.


Oh, and if any of you do this at home? Please. Don't tell me.

***
Happy Wednesday.