Out of the deep.

One of the students rolled up on me yesterday and said, "Hey Dr. M! Your blog has been CRAZY DEEP these days. Man!"

And I'm sayin'. That med stud totally meant that as a compliment, but seriously. . . . for whatever reason the word "deep" is one I don't like connected to me. It seems like you're trying to hard. In fact, one of my favorite sayings is, "It's just not that deep."

So check it. Today? I bring you the world's LEAST deep post ever on a Hump Day mornin'.  Nothing but unedited randomness, which I assure you will not be "deep".

*Yawn*

So where to start? Hmm. Oh, Dia de San Valentin. Let's start there.

Valentine's Day was kind of cool. The BHE is on this kick where he wants the boys to know "how to love like a real man." Hmm. Take that back. It's not a "kick" really. It's more like this ongoing thing where he is always declaring to the kids that "a man" does this and "a man" does that.

Like help out his wife.
And get her some pretty flowers if that's her thing.
And tell her she looks pretty even on the days when she doesn't feel that way.
And pay some bills.
And not just lay around doing nothing.

Mmmm hmmmm.  The BHE told the little future BHE's that you "can't treat your wife special only on Valentine's Day but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do something special for her on that day, too."

You betta preach, Bro' Manning.

Yep.

Oh, what'd you ask? You said what did I do for the BHE on that day? Okay, glad you asked because I was going to ask your thoughts on this.

Alright so check it. I gave a lecture and did some writing for this shmancy National Organization and instead of giving an honorarium ("cash-money" as I like to call it) they said they give a gift.

Errr, what?

Well, that's fine because I do so much stuff SANS HONORARI (my fancy way of saying without an honorarium) that I was lightweight surprised that they thought I was expecting one.

Well. Turns out that gift was a -- shut YO' mouth -- iPad2. Whoops. That's AN iPAD2. Sorry, Mom.

So the thing is this: I have an iPad. An iPad UNO, no less, but a perfectly working iPad of my own. The BHE, however, declares himself a no-gadget dude. And though he is constantly swearing up and down that this is who he is, he like TOTALLY is always up on somebody's iPad "for just two seconds."

Mmmm hmmm.

So you know where this is going, right? Or do you? Okay, I'll tell you. The BHE got an iPad for Valentine's Day.

*eyeroll*

NO! I didn't take the iPad2 for myself! I gave him the spanking new one with FaceTime capability and ALL THAT new stuff. It even came with that funky magnetic cover. He tried to conceal his happiness but he was WAY happy.

Question: Would you have kept the iPad 2? Was it bad to give him something that didn't cost me money?

Well, I know the second answer for our household. Harry immediately opened his eyes wide like saucers and said, "YOU DID NOT GO OUT AND BUY ME THIS AT AN APPLE STORE DID YOU??!"

In other words, "UNLESS you got this on 'the hookup' I'm taking it back due to the expense."

And not "the hookup" in the terms the twenty somethings think of. But "the hookup" you know about if you grew up in the hood and are over the age of thirty. Or unless you are an old soul under thirty (ah hem, Jameil.)

I think it's funny when a spouse buys a really expensive gift and acts like it's not all one money pile. And just because I think it's funny doesn't mean I'm against an overpriced baubles or handbag, people. But seriously. . . in my head I know--it's one big pot we're dipping from. Well, sort of. Even if you have separate finances, all roads lead to the same home.

Which reminds me. Do y'all have separate finances? We sort of do. But sort of don't. It works.

Oh yeah. And what do you all think of re-gifting? You know--like if your kid gets seventy trillion gifts on their birthday, is it okay to re-gift to someone else? Especially kid things? Do any of you do that or do you just put them away and allow them slowly through the year?

Man. I may or may not have busted out some birthday bounty under the Christmas tree. And just maybe one Isaiah A. Manning promptly called my ass out on it.

"Santa did NOT bring that. That's from Zachy's birthday."

Alrighty then.

Well. Even if y'all don't re-gift. I save all of the bags and tissue paper. I don't think I've bought a gift bag in five years. Dead. Serious.

0_0   ---->  what?

Anywho. What else? Hmmm.

Oh! Did y'all know that tilapia isn't really so good for you? Damn. No wonder it's so cheap. Turns out that the way they are raised on the farm or whatever they get fed a bunch of crap. That crap then makes an already not-so-nutritious fish less so. You know how salmon has the omega 3 fatty acids? Tilapia has some kind called omega 6. Not so good for you, actually. Not horrible. Just not your best choice.

Better choices are things like salmon and tuna.

I used to love salmon but during my first pregnancy I developed a complete aversion to salmon steaks. Ick. Funny thing is that the BHE did, too. I used to hit up Sam's club or Costco and get a big bag of salmon. Now we can't even stand the sight of it. Neither one of us regained our "salmon tooth." Wait. I take that back. I still like salmon croquets and lox. But the steaks -- ickity-ick.

Did that happen to any of you when you were preggers? What about your better half. Or baby-daddy. Take your pick on how that person is described.

What else?

Oh. I went and got a pedicure and the dude working on my foot was obviously new. Like NEW-NEW. It's bad because I'm really secretly sexist with pedicures and don't generally want a dude working on my toes. But the real issue wasn't his Y chromosome but instead the fact that he was new. Very new. Working all slow and nervous-like. And I could tell from the very first moment he sat down. Looking all around for stuff like he was confused.

I'm sayin'. The foot-experience is sacred to me. I find it very relaxing and his newbie-ness was blowing my experience. I thought about asking for another person. Just maybe a lady that had been there more than two minutes. Because I am really thinking I was his first "real" customer.

Then I realized that I am a teaching physician. I remembered that a lot of patients are super gracious with my novice students and so I shut my pie-hole and tried to relax. I kept saying in my head, "See one. Do one. Teach one."

Dude was only one step beyond "see one." So yeah, I chilled and let him. He cut my toenails down waaaay too low but whatever. I meant to tell his attending manicurist to supervise better next time.

What else? Oh this. When I was a medical student I was presenting a patient and said that he had no "dypnea on exertion." My attending promptly lambasted me for pronouncing the 'p' in that word "dyspnea."  For you lay folk, dyspnea means "difficulty in breathing."

So anyways. That attending screamed on me and said, "The 'P' is SILENT! It's DIS-NEE-AAAH!!! Like the way you say PNEUMONIA not P-NEUMONIA, got it????"

And I got it. So much so that I have said it that way ever since.

Until yesterday when just maybe I corrected someone for saying it with a 'p'. And just maybe I slightly lambasted them, too. Albeit with a smile.

Turns out that students now have things like "dictionary.com" and "merriam-webster.com" to immediately check your facts. And. They even can push a button to hear it pronounced. And it is pronounced:

DYSP-NEE-AA.

The 'p' is not EVEN silent.

Awkwaaaaarrrd.

Ha. All I could do was laugh. Which I did and do often. Bwah ha ha.

The lesson there? Uhh, no lesson. I still like saying things loud and wrong instead of soft and right. Ha.

I'm sayin'. This was the least "deep" post ever. And this was my goal.

I hope you have a wonderful day and that you don't develop any dysPnea.

Heh.

*****
Happy Wednesday, party people.

And now, the most random thing ever, this song that is playing on my mental iPod. I blame my friend Psonya for this because she put it in my head today. And now, I've tagged you and put it in yours. (You can thank me later.)