Isaiah: "Mom, what is 'gay'?"
Me: "Gay?"
Isaiah: "'Gay.' What's that?"
Me: "Gay? Uhh. . .it means that you're happy."
Isaiah: "No, the other meaning."
Me: "Of gay?"
Isaiah: "Yes, mom. I heard this boy say that the way somebody was jumproping was 'so gay'. The other boy that was jumping got really, really mad. Like really almost crying mad."
Me: "Was he trying to be mean to him?"
Isaiah: "I think so, Mom."
Me: "Sounds like he was. Is he a friend of yours?"
Isaiah: "Who?"
Me: "The boy who was being mean. Or the boy who was jumping rope."
Isaiah: "No. They were both older. Like maybe fourth grade. I know them, though. I was just there because we were out there playing."
Me: "Oh.
Isaiah: "So is that a bad word? 'Gay'?"
Me: "When used like that it is. It's a very mean word when used that way."
Isaiah: "Mom, that boy says 'stupid' a lot, too. And I think I even heard him one time saying a real bad word. One of the real ones that grown-ups use, not like stupid."
Me: *coughing* "I don't want you to ever call somebody 'gay' like that or say what someone is doing is 'gay.' That's not cool. At all."
Isaiah: "I didn't think so, Mom. It sounded mean how he said it. Why is it a bad word?"
Me: "It's not always a bad word. But explaining what it means is kind of a mature thing to try to get you to understand. You know like how I say some shows on TV are mature?"
Isaiah: "Yes. Like 'The Family Guy' even though it's a cartoon."
Me: "Exactly. Like that. So when you get older I can explain why that word when used like that might hurt somebody's feelings. For now, just don't say it."
Isaiah: "Okay, Mom."
Me: "I'm glad you told me, though."
Isaiah: "Mom?"
Me: "Yep."
Isaiah: "Can you take us to Target today to buy us a new toy with our allowance?"
Me: "No, dude. We just went. Remember?"
Isaiah: "'Dude' seems like a bad word when you say it."
Me: "Well, it's not."
Isaiah: "You always say it when you say 'no' or you want us to hurry up or get out of your face."
Me: "Oh yeah? Alright, dude. Go ahead play and let Mommy finish reading her magazine."
Ha.
***
Happy Monday.
You are such a wonderful and wise mom.
ReplyDelete-Lena
Tough issue; gracefully handled.
ReplyDeleteGrade school. Everything starts out so fresh and new, squeaky clean. Then that day comes when your child tells you he heard a bad word and you suddenly ache because some innocence was lost.
ReplyDeleteYou and your son shared a true quality moment there.
My kids go to a public school and are friends with many kids who have gay parents, so we had to have the talk pretty early. We also had to deal with the whole Prop 8 thing a couple of years ago, which, unless you were living in a hole, got very divisive. They took it in stride -- we didn't go into the sex part, just that sometimes women love other women or men love other men and that their father and I agreed that love was the most important issue and that people shouldn't be looked down on because of it. The word that really infuriates my kids, though, is "retard."
ReplyDeleteLena -- Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHMS -- Surprisingly it didn't feel so tough.
Ellen -- Ain't that the truth.
Elizabeth -- You're awesome. And yes, that word that infuriates your kids? It should never, ever be a noun.
The boy is quick. You taught him that a word can be bad based on the "intent" behind the word.
ReplyDeleteAnd he called you on that, Dude. ;)
Nice lesson and sharing with your blog fans.
ReplyDelete