Required Reading

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Monday, September 5, 2011

Father knows best.

*no animals or patients were harmed during this post.


Overheard at the lake this weekend:

Zachary:  Daddy! I need to pee.


Daddy:  (looks over at me and then shrugs.) So go pee.

Zachary: You going to take me, Daddy?

Daddy:  Naww, man. Just hit that lake over there. (points at the lake--which is full o' people.)

Lawd.

Zachary:  Pee in the lake?

Daddy:  Yeah, man. Just walk on out into the water and. . . .aaaaahhhhhh. (demonstrates a gesture bordering on obscene and looks at me again.)

Zachary:  In the lake? With the fishes?

Daddy:  Where do you think they pee? Wait--you only have to pee, right? (cuts eyes back at me)

Zachary:  Just pee. Not boo-boo, Daddy.

Lawd. Lawd. Lawd.

Daddy:  Okay, then handle your biz. Hey--but be cool about it, man. Cool.

Zachary: Cool. (begins to try to look cool) Okay, Daddy!

Daddy: Zach--cool. Cool, man. Cool.


And after a big nod, off he goes. . . and coolly wades out into the lake front up to his knee caps. And then commences to. .  . . .SQUAT in the water for about fifteen seconds.  

Lawd.

Seriously? The most obvious pool or lake peeing incident of all time. Oh well. At least it wasn't as bad as the great Baby Ruth Pool Doody Incident on Caddyshack.

And just in case no one amongst the five trillion swimmers surrounding him realized what he was doing. . . .

"Aaaahhhhhh!"


Thanks, Harry.  You rock.

The man is full of wisdom, I tell you.
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7 comments:

  1. Tony DraperSeptember 5, 2011 at 11:48 PM

    Be thankful that he didn't decide shake it like Papa told him Ahhhhhh

    ReplyDelete
  2. gradydoctorSeptember 5, 2011 at 11:50 PM

    I was so terrified that he would, Dad. You have no idea how terrified.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ms. MoonSeptember 6, 2011 at 8:40 AM

    Heh-heh. Boys. I love it! I keep telling Owen to pee outside. He looks at me as if I've lost my mind. He'll get it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. michelleSeptember 6, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    hee hee hee

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2011 at 11:39 AM

    I am constantly amazed by the differences between women and men. I ran this post by Ade to get his take on this and his response was "of course I would have him go pee in the lake." And then he seemed utterly amazed that I would actually go the additional 3 yards to take Morgan to the public toilet. Mars v. Venus...but it makes for great stories!!!

    Sherrese

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    Absolutely hilarious. It's amazing how children keep us grounded.

    ReplyDelete
  7. 37paddingtonSeptember 6, 2011 at 10:31 PM

    now that's a dad! this was a male bonding moment if i ever heard one! ahhhh.

    ReplyDelete

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