Work shoes.

"That's hot, babe."

Okay, so here's something I deal with in my household:

My (wonderful) husband believes that any shoe that is less than 17 inches tall should be reserved for work. When we went to the Jay Z concert a few years back--I kid you not--Harry had to give me a horsey back ride all the way to the car when it was over. Yes. He carried a grown woman for like six blocks, man. To this day, I do not feel guilty as I maintain that I was 100% taking one for the team when I got myself dressed that night. ("The team" = Harry.)  

There's just something about dolling up in heels that makes my husband's heart go pitter patter. And I'll admit--I like to make his heart go pitter patter. (Even if it renders me in need for emergent orthopedic surgery.)

Happy spouse, happy house.

Dreadful platforms with a wooden heel? Perfect for a night on the town. Darling little kitten heels? Fuggeddaboudit. If it ain't "car to bar"-- my husband deems it a "work shoe."

Uggghh.

That said, my usually uber-sweet husband takes great pride in unleashing some real zingers on me when it comes to my collection of quasi-fashionable work shoes. (Good thing I have such a positive self image when it comes to my "orthotics.")

"Aren't these cute, babe? Come on!"

"Yeah. Cute if you're going to Grady."

"I get a lot of compliments on these, you know!"

"Uuuuhhh, okay."

"Dang."

So today I'm reflecting on work shoes and what they say about you before you even utter a word. . . . here's my take on it. . .complete with a nice little Harry commentary for your entertainment.

"Work shoes?"

"People really compliment those?"

This shoe says:

• "I am rounding but I still would like to maintain at least one iota of style.
• "However, that style must also be vomit-proof hence the shiny finish."
• (If you ask Harry) "I am on my way to go work in a hospital in my fashion-orthotics."

"Nice little shoe to wear to walk to breakfast on Saturday."

This shoe says:

• "I am a wannabe chic resident or an intern who is on call today."
• "And I am hoping and praying that my attending is not 50 or older or else I will be chastised about these shoes."
• "I don't run or do any form of exercise."
• "I hope that the really, really cute (fill in the blank) will notice how cute I am in my cool sneaks and start crushing on me."
• "I hope that my belligerent and inappropriate patient in restraints will not notice how cute I am in my sneaks and start hitting on me."

"I hope that's for work."

 This shoe says:

• "I know, I know. . . I'm working in the hospital. But can't a girl still wear a heel?"
• "Even if it's a lame, Mary Poppins-esque heel, it counts."
• (If you ask Harry) "I am on my way to work. Why else would I own this shoe?"
• "And especially, if it weren't a work shoe . . . .why would you own this shoe in two different colors?"

"The only thing worse than that shoe in black is that shoe in brown."

"That's a nice work shoe, babe. . . "

 This shoe says:

• "I am secretly the Carrie Bradshaw of the hospital--wearing my 3+ inchers to Grady like it ain't nothin'!"
• "But seriously? I'm really here to sign a few charts and sit in a meeting. Otherwise I would require another horsey back ride out of the hospital."

"Uggh. Orthotics."

This shoe says:

• "I am an intern."
• "I am a resident."
• "I am an ER doctor."
• "I am a nurse who is at work."
• "I am an attending who just had bunion surgery or who has plantar fasciitis."
• "I am a medical student who wants to 'look the part' on my clinical rotations so I bought a $130 pair of horrid shoes with adorned with staples."

steely glare without comment

 This shoe says: 

• "I just quit my job at the hospital or withdrew from medical school so don't care if you see me in these."
• "I compost." 

"Grounds for divorce." ~ Harry