Reflection on a Tuesday: Joy Always

Today I

• Gave a lecture for the Emory Board Review Program at the crickety-crack o' dawn
• Almost overslept for the lecture that I was supposed to be giving at the crickety-crack o' dawn, but thankfully, was jolted out of a deep, deep, good, good sleep by my pager.
• Realized that the reason I almost overslept was because my two human alarm clocks were sleeping over at their grandma's house. (Thanks, Toonces!)
• Realized (the minute I pulled into the Grady parking garage) that the heels I'd worn to give my lecture would render me unable to walk by the end of rounds. (O. . .M. . . .G. .)
  
• Realized that I'd left another pair of low heels in the back of my trunk from the last time I'd snuck off for a post-work pedicure. (Hallelujah for having a junky car!)
  
• Joined my team for post long call rounds wearing comfy shoes from my trunk.
  
• Made my team walk up five flights of stairs because of my comfy shoes.
  
• Congratulated a patient for abstaining from crack cocaine for 8 and a half months
• Said a quick prayer to myself that she would stay off of cocaine for 8 and a half more months
• Realized that this patient and I are both the same exact age and are both black women, and wondered what my life would have been like if I had gotten addicted to crack, too
  
• Saw a patient playing herself in Scrabble. I asked her, "Who's winning?" to which she answered, "Chile, Me!" We all laughed out loud.
• Asked the same patient if she was trashtalking while playing herself. She said, "Oh yeah! You always trashtalk when you play scrabble, even by yourself!" Nice!
  
• Had lunch with my friend Ildefonso, his wife Lourdes, and my other friend, Tammy at the Sweet Auburn market
  
• Picked up a "stray" medical student after lunch and had him join the rest of my rounds today. He actually looked lost.
  
• Asked a patient about alcohol use, and consoled her when, instead of answering me she started crying
• Massaged a knot out of my patient's back (upon her request.) Wondered for two seconds if I should, but then realized that as sick as my elderly patient was, it was the least I could do.
• Said hi to a five year old little boy who was visiting his great-grandmother in the hospital. He asked me, "Do you be on TV?"
  
• Gave one of my favorite social workers a big hug and told her I was glad to see her
• Sent my husband two text messages during the day that said, "I love you so."
• Received two text messages from my husband that said, "Me too. :)" and "Me too!"
  
• Told a patient that he has something that could be a cancer
• Realized that he didn't understand
• Realized that he had not gone past second grade and couldn't read or understand most of the things we talked about related to his condition
  
• Realized that even if he had gone past second grade, after living over eighty years in perfect peace he might not want to understand
• Gave a medical student a fist bump for doing a good job
• Felt pretty when one of my senior patients told me I looked like Halle Berry.
• Realized that she had Alzheimer's dementia, but decided that I would ignore her cognitive disability when it came to thinking that I was the doppelganger of the world's hottest woman.
  
• Sat in my office for a few moments and drank some TAZO Green Ginger tea before leaving. (Aaaaaah. . . . )
• Reflected on my day for a few moments.
  
• Wished my thirty-nine year old patient had never tried crack and never got infected with HIV
• Wished the other three patients I'd met today who used crack had never tried it either.
• Prayed for every person who has had their life ruined by crack cocaine
• Received two thank you cards. . .one from a medical student and another from the daughter of a deceased patient
• Closed my eyes and felt a moment of joy. . . .
• Remembered one of my patients from last year who told me, "Don't never let nothing steal your joy" -- and smiled.
  
• Gave myself a fist bump for doing a good job or at least trying to.
  
• Sent Harry another text message that said, "I love you again."
  
• Reply: "Me too ... again."
• Decided I would drive home saying over and over to myself in my head. . . Joy always. . .Joy always. . . Joy always. . . .