Verbatim at Grady: Respect Thy Elders

HEARD VERBATIM AT GRADY:

*****

In the clinic. . . . .

Me: What's the key to living this long?

Grady Elder: It's simple, baby. . . you listenin'?

Me: Yes, ma'am

Grady Elder:

• MIND YO' OWN BUSINESS
  
• GET YO' OWN MAN
• AND PRAY!

*****

On the wards. . . . . .

Me: Good morning. . . .Just wanted to come by and see about you this morning. . .

Grady elder: Damn, yo' hands is cold!

*****

In the lobby. . . . . .

Grady elder: 'Xcuse me, baby, can you do me a favor?

Me: Yes ma'am

Grady elder: Can you please reach around here and scratch my back?

Me: Beg pardon?

Grady elder: Can you scratch my back?

Me: Uh. . .sure why not. . . .(scratching through her shirt). . .how is that?

Grady elder: Up some

Me: (still scratching, still standing in the middle of the atrium and late for clinic)

Grady elder: Over some. . .

Me: How is that?

Grady elder: A little bit harder. . . .yeah. . .there you go. . .

Me (in my head): Seriously? Seriously.


*****

In the clinic. . . .

Me: Hey there. . .come on back. . . thanks for keeping your follow up appointment. I know a week is a short time.

Grady elder: No problem, Miss Manning! I feel much, much better!

Me: Oh, that's great! So the medication helped with your hip pain?

Grady elder: Did it help!? Chiiiiiiile. . . . I'll show you, Miss Manning! (jumps out of her chair, I PROMISE, and commences to do "the stanky leg" dance.)

Me: Wow, you DO feel better.

******

On the wards. . . . .

Me: What's the key to staying married so long?

Grady elder: If you gon' stay true to your vows you got to remember one thang.

Me: What's that?

Grady elder: You gets married based 'pon your feelings, you stays married based 'pon your willing.

Me: That's what's up.


******

On rounds. . . .

Grady elder: Why you wear your hair so short?

Me: Beg pardon?

Grady elder: Your hair. Why you cut if all off like a little boy?

Me: Uh, I don't think it looks like a little boy.

Grady elder: I do.

Me: Well, fortunately, I generally choose my hairstyles based upon what I think.

Grady elder: Well you need to worry about what a man think. And a man don't like when a woman cut her hair off like a little boy.

Me: Is that right?

Grady elder: Yes. (not even flinching or the least bit apologetic.)

Me: Actually, my man likes my hair, and I think I'm going to go with what he thinks on this one instead of you, okay?

Grady elder: You got a smart ass mouth.

******

At the hospital entrance. . . .

Me: Good morning!

Grady elder: All riiiiigggggghhht. (Note: I never asked the question "How are you?")

*******

In a hospital bed. . . . .

Grady elder: I was born at Gradys, I had all my babies at Gradys and I don't go no where BUT Gradys when I'm sick. This is MY hospital. And y'all is MY doctors.

Me: That we are. :)